Writing

What a weekend!

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to say I’ve had a relaxing weekend.

I think it started well as my other half didn’t work Friday so Ruby has had there whole days with her Daddy who she completely adores. 

She walked beautifully without a tantrum when we went shopping, played with her cousins, ate chips and smiled. Yet for me it was strange but not in a bad way. I’ve not had a weekend where I haven’t been rushed off my feet, feeling stressed about everyone I needed to do before Monday came along, in such along time.

It might be that I’ve found inner peace on a few things, plus Saturday night I hosted an Avon party which was brilliant. I usually struggle with anxiety to have so many people in my house and making sure everyone was ok, the house are spotless etc. But not yesterday. I was weirdly calm and went with the flow. The night went so well, I even drank wine and more than one glass which hasn’t been me for quite a few years. I felt confident and comfortable. Maybe it was the people I invited or maybe I’m finally got the courage to find the old me. It may sound silly but the littlest of things can be huge to others and is an achievement. 

Today was great too, I didn’t feel the need to “do” things and didn’t feel guilty for staying in my pjs until after 9am. I felt relaxed, calm and enjoying playing games with Ruby. No raised voices and no one saying I don’t have time. It’s been truly lovely. 

Tonight my gratitude will be the whole weekend. I can’t remember the last time I could say that. Weekends usually mean exactly the same thing as a week day. But this weekend is different. I have been listening to a lot of grounding and inner peace meditations recently, but I don’t think I can solely say that was what relaxed me. It has made a huge part but I also think that I have found closure on a few things and other issues have started to make sense. 

Maybe the word is clarity and I hope it continues. 

Happy Sunday evening everyone. 

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